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Learn to Listen
Just talking to your child is only half the job. You can keep the lines of communication open by knowing how to listen and when to talk. Your teen will tell you about the sights and sounds that influence him or her every day. They are the experts about fashion, music, TV, and movies that people their age follow.
Ask your teen what music groups are popular and what their songs are about, what his friends like to do after school, what’s cool and what’s not and why. Encourage your teen with phrases such as: “That’s interesting” or “I didn’t know that” and by asking follow-up questions.
Try these tips: |
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Encourage your children to feel comfortable telling you about problems they may be having and asking you for help. |
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You might try rephrasing your teen’s comments to indicate that you have understood or give nonverbal support and encouragement by nodding and smiling. |
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Use a caring tone of voice to answer your teen and use encouraging phrases to express interest and to keep the conversation going. |
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Tags: communicating, My Blogs
Posted by: irenein Uncategorized
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Recognizing and dealing with a drug or alcohol problem will undoubtedly require the entire family’s attention and participation in solving the crisis. This is a time for families to band together without judgment and work toward the best solution for the entire family. At this point, everyone’s emotions are certainly high. The family unit has most likely already experienced disruption by the behavior of the substance-using teen. Some family members will most likely be very angry with the user’s behavior. The goal here is to gather the forces to acknowledge the problem, address the problem, and work toward a solution for the entire family.

Acknowledge the Problem
This is the time to speak with key family members and let them know that your teen has a drug problem. Be honest, open, and simple in your approach. There is no need to go into extraordinary detail: a straightforward statement of the problem is sufficient. Be clear on what you need from them: support, understanding, a non-judgmental attitude, as well as any other specifics you think are necessary to get your point across.
Assess the Problem
The goal here is to find out what your options are. Does your teen need help from a professional? Is there a trusted teacher, school counselor, family doctor, or faith leader that you can turn to for advice? Should your teen go to a treatment center? What resources do you need to ensure that your teen stops using drugs or alcohol? Are you aware of the resources in your community such as drug prevention coalitions? Be sure that your assessment of the problem includes checking in at several points to ensure that you are not covering it up and denying its existence.

Work Toward a Solution
This is where you make a plan of action. You have gathered the information and recognize you have a problem; you have learned how to handle the problem; now you must decide on an action plan that works for you and your family. Put your plan in writing — it will help you in the future to be clear about the direction you are taking. Engage your child in developing the plan. Help your teen become responsible for his/her actions by participating in the rule-making process. Many families develop a contract that both parents and children sign. The symbolism of signing a contract gives both parties a heightened sense of commitment to the process.
Tags: dealing, family, My Blogs, problem
When you have a suspicion that your teen is “experimenting” with drugs, what do you do?
Get EducatedFirst, learn as much as you can. Have The Talk — Let Them Know You KnowThe next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when you are all calm and have plenty of time. This isn’t an easy task—your feelings may range from anger to guilt that you have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true—by staying involved you can help his/her stop using and make choices that will make a positive difference in his/her life.Be Specific About Your ConcernsTell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known if you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how his/her behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell his/her that drug and alcohol use is dangerous and it’s your job to keep his/her away from things that put his/her in danger.Don’t Make ExcusesAlthough it’s natural for parents to make excuses for their child, you’re not helping him/her if you make excuses when he/she misses school or family functions when you suspect something else is at play. Take the next step: Talk to your child and get more information.
Try to Remain Calm and Connect With Him/HerHave this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarrassment to the family. Be firm but loving with your tone and try not to get hooked into an argument. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen and find out why he/she may be making bad choices. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did he/she try it just out of curiosity, or did he/she use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you care and that you are going to be the parent exercising your rights.
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Here are some suggested things to tell your son or daughter:
- You LOVE him/her, and you are worried that he/she might be using drugs or alcohol;
- You KNOW that drugs may seem like the thing to do, but doing drugs can have serious consequences;
- It makes you FEEL worried and concerned about him/her when he/she does drugs;
- You are there to LISTEN to him/her;
- You WANT him/her to be a part of the solution;
- You tell him/her what you WILL do to help him/her.
- Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kid about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event.
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Be Prepared. Practice What You’ll SayBe prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect him/her to admit he/she has a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, it is best to be honest, and if you can, connect your use to negative consequences. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you’ve lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you can talk about some specific people you know that have had negative things happen to them as a result of drug and alcohol use. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers like these:“When I was a kid I took drugs because some of my friends did. I wanted to in order to fit in. If I’d known then about the consequences and how they would affect my life, I never would have tried drugs. I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from them.”“I drank alcohol and smoked marijuana because I was bored and wanted to take some risks, but I soon found out that I couldn’t control the risks — the loss of trust of my parents and friends. There are much better ways of challenging yourself than doing drugs.”Act NowYou can begin to more closely monitor your child’s activities. Have a few conversations. Ask: Who? What? Where? When? Reflect with your child on why he/she is using drugs and try to understand the reasons why so that you can help solve the problem. When you get a better idea of the situation, then you can decide next steps. These could include setting new rules and consequences that are reasonable and enforceable — such as a new curfew, no cell phone or computer privileges for a period of time, or less time hanging out with friends. You may want to get them involved in pro-social activities that will keep them busy and help them meet new people. For more information about how to set and enforce rules, visit the Advice area on www.TheAntiDrug.com.
Tags: drugs, family, Health, parents, teens, tips
Posted by: irenein Uncategorized
in Uncategorized
Although teens are turning away from street drugs, now there’s a new threat and it’s from the family medicine cabinet: The abuse of prescription (Rx) and over-the-counter (OTC) drugs.
Parents and caregivers are the first line of defense in addressing this troubling trend.
What’s the problem?
Teens are abusing some prescription and over-the-counter drugs to get high. This includes painkillers, such as those drugs prescribed after surgery; depressants, such as sleeping pills or anti-anxiety drugs; and stimulants, such as those drugs prescribed for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Teens are also abusing over-the-counter drugs, such as cough and cold remedies.
Every day 2,500 youth age 12 to 17 abuse a pain reliever for the very first time. More teens abuse prescription drugs than any illicit drug except marijuana. In 2006, more than 2.1 million teens ages 12 to 17 reported abusing prescription drugs.1 Among 12- and 13-year-olds, prescription drugs are the drug of choice.2
Because these drugs are so readily available, and many teens believe they are a safe way to get high, teens who wouldn’t otherwise touch illicit drugs might abuse prescription drugs. And not many parents are talking to them about it, even though teens report that parental disapproval is a powerful way to keep them away from drugs.3
What are the dangers?
There are serious health risks related to abuse of prescription drugs. A single large dose of prescription or over-the-counter painkillers or depressants can cause breathing difficulty that can lead to death. Stimulant abuse can lead to hostility or paranoia, or the potential for heart system failure or fatal seizures. Even in small doses, depressants and painkillers have subtle effects on motor skills, judgment, and ability to learn.
The abuse of OTC cough and cold remedies can cause blurred vision, nausea, vomiting, dizziness, coma, and even death. Many teens report mixing prescription drugs, OTC drugs, and alcohol. Using these drugs in combination can cause respiratory failure and death.
Prescription and OTC drug abuse is addictive. Between 1995 and 2005, treatment admissions for prescription painkillers increased more than 300 percent.4
Tags: care, danger, drugs, family, Health, My Blogs, Rx, school, sick
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